


...And they were flatmates (Oh my god, they were flatmates!)

by ImNotAMarySue (writethatdownpls)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ingrid is tired, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Nintendo Switch Shenanigans, Polyamory, Side Claude x Lorenz in. like. the last chapter., Side Edelgard x Dorothea, YEP THIS IS, dimisylvix, does this count a a college au?? doubting it, oblivious flirting, someone explain to them what poly relationships are, this was just an excuse to write them all playing animal crossing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25538392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writethatdownpls/pseuds/ImNotAMarySue
Summary: When Ingrid got home she didn't expect to hear her flatmates screaming already.It was just 5pm, for fuck’s sake. Normally that didn’t happen until dinner time.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32





	1. The Animal Crossing War

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know titles. I really just don't know.
> 
> Okay, so. This was just a huuuge excuse to write those 3 idiots playing Animal Crossing. The rest was improvised. 100%
> 
> Anyways, welcome, happy FE3H anniversary I guess, this has been sitting on my google drive for two fucking months. Yep, pandemics do that to my will to write, apparently. In other news, the story is almost finished (already writing chapter 4). And, like. This is all just a BIIIIG pile of shit, as you'll be able to see, but I encourage you to read it I guess. There's useless lesbians, that's gotta be worth something.
> 
> Also, alternative universe in which there wasn't a global pandemic when Animal Crossing New Horizons was released? Maybe?
> 
> Not betaed by anyone, but I really do my best here. If you see any mistake and are up to tell me about it, please do.

When Ingrid got home she didn't expect to hear her flatmates screaming  _ already.  _

_ (It was just 5pm, for fuck’s sake. Normally that didn’t happen until dinner time.) _

"YOU REALLY HAD TO, DIDN'T YOU?" screamed Felix on top of his lungs. He was always the loudest of the three. 

"Well, you weren't here! And I wanted to play!" Countered Dimitri, who had the Switch controllers firmly gripped on his hands.

_("Please, Goddess, be merciful, don't let Dimitri break a console again".)_

"Duuudes, calm down!" Interceded Sylvain, who honest to God seemed to not be directly involved in the argument. For once. At least he was just there, chilling on the sofa, while Felix was standing in front of the TV and Dimitri was sitting on the couch, looking very much tense. "If we want to do something with our island, we'll just ask Dimitri—" 

"HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE ISLAND. AND TOM NOOK  _ KNOWS  _ IT."

"Hey, my judgment is GOOD."

"HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR HAIRCUT?" 

"What haircut?" Asked Dimitri, whose hair was already pretty long and had definitely not seen a hairdresser in at least a year. 

...Or a scrunchie, for what was worth, 

"EXACTLY."

Ingrid finally cleared her throat, making her presence known. Like, she wasn’t even hiding. She had  _ opened  _ the front door, and that wasn’t exactly the quietest action ever. But  _ the three of them  _ had ignored her for a whole minute. Not the first time, not the last time.

Three pairs of eyes turned towards the blonde girl. 

"Oh. Hi, Ingrid," said Felix. 

"Hello, Ingrid."

"Hewwo, Ing—" and Sylvain received a smack on the back before he finished his sentence. By Felix, yours truly. 

"Good afternoon," Ingrid took a deep breath. One, two, three. "What the  _ fuck  _ is happening?" 

And suddenly, hell broke loose as the three of them tried to talk and explain themselves at the same time.

_ (Ingrid wasn’t really up for any of that. Like, really. She was tired. She had been working for three hours and before that she had been in class the whole morning. She hadn't even eaten properly. What the hell.) _

"Okay, no. Stop. Please, one at a time. Felix?" Ingrid said, massaging the bridge of her nose. 

"The  _ boar—"  _

_ (Oh, Felix. As sweet as always with your flatmate and childhood friend.  _

_ And crush. But don’t say that out loud. Shhh.) _

"Okay, you've already started with the wrong foot and you know it," Ingrid was fast to interrupt. 

_ "Dimitri, _ " Felix started again, pouring every ounce of disdain he could onto the name, "started playing the new Animal Crossing game last night just as it went out while  _ I  _ was on my night shift and Sylvain—" 

"I was sleeping," completed the red-head, who was now even MORE sprawled on the sofa.

"—And now he's the  _ Resident Representative _ and has significantly more power over what happens on the island than  _ us. _ "

“I honestly didn’t think it was such a big deal,” Dimitri said, brow knitting. “Like, my judgment  _ is _ good.”

“It isn’t.”

“Felix, let him talk,” Ingrid shushed him.

“Thank you, Ingrid. Well, the thing is, I wanted to play.”

“We all wanted to play!”

“ _ Felix _ ,” if looks could kill, Felix would have died ten times already. Just that week alone. It was Friday. Felix looked down and crossed his arms.

_ (Ingrid just wanted to NOT feel like their mom for a single day. But, by personal experience, that was quite impossible. And she had known them all for more than 13 years.) _

“—So I started playing," Dimitri continued. "It’s not  _ such a big deal _ . If they want anything, they can just  _ ask me _ .”

“The hell I’m going to ask you,” Felix said between his teeth.

“And you, Sylvain?” With a sigh, Ingrid turned to look at the last of them.

“I really was just sleeping. And, like, I don’t like Dimitri having more power than any of us, but,” he stopped. Everyone was looking at him. Dimitro was attentive, Felix was piercing him with his look and Ingrid was just  _ tired _ . “But someone has to have that power, right? And listen to the suggestions of the rest about the island. The switch and the game were paid in equal parts,” he continued. “So, really. Whoever is okay…? I think…?” He looked at Felix, seeming a little bit scared.

_ (Because his approval there was important. As always. Sylvain didn’t know, but he had a crush on Felix AND Dimitri. But Dimitri wasn’t angry at him, so he only worried about Felix. _

_ And no. He wasn’t aware of his crushes. He still said he was, like, super heterosexual. Ingrid could only laugh. Had he looked at himself in the mirror? Of course he had. But if it made him happier to insist on his fake heterosexuality while still going to Ingrid's room to tell him about  _ how bad _he was crushing on their two mutual friends then sure, go ahead.)_

Felix couldn’t really counter him with anything. Because Sylvain, for once,  _ was right. _

Ingrid sighed again. Fuck, she knew this was going to happen sooner rather than later.

Her three flatmates happened to be her childhood friends. They had known each other for a  _ long  _ time, it wasn’t difficult to predict what was going to happen when they told her they were planning to buy a switch between the three of them just so they could play the new Animal Crossing once it came out. They asked if she wanted to join in. 

_ But Ingrid Knew Better.  _

She had told them that thanks, but no, she wasn’t interested. She preferred to watch them play than play herself. Like, sure, playing Animal Crossing sounded fun. But knowing them? It wouldn’t be fun. It would be  _ war _ .

So when the new Switch (Animal Crossing edition, with the game already installed) got home, Ingrid washed her hands and let them be.

And then, it had been a matter of time. Time for the game to be actually out so the console would let them play. The game had been launched less than 24 hours before. And that was it. They were already arguing.

Pretty amazing, their relationship. Fighting over a video game where you are just supposed to water flowers, talk to your neighbors and fish. 

Considering they all had crushes in each other, it REALLY was surprising. 

_ “And they haven’t fucked yet?” _ Had asked Dorothea the first time Ingrid had explained to her the whole situation.

_ “I wish. My headaches would have ended a long time ago,”  _ had answered Ingrid.

And it was true. Their flat just gave her headaches.

But now:  _ The Animal Crossing War. _

“And you can’t, like… erase the data and start again? And flip a coin to see who’s the… the…”

“Resident Representative,” Dimitri helped.

“Yeah, that. Or, like, play rock-paper-scissors.” 

There was a silence. A long silence. They looked at each other.

“...It’s actually a good idea,” admitted Sylvain. “But Felix, you can’t get mad if you don’t win.”

“I can’t promise that,” Felix said not even looking ashamed.

Well, that was  _ a problem _ . An expected one. At least he was already acknowledging it.

Another long silence.

_ (Ugh. Please. Let Ingrid fall into her bed and die already.) _

“What if,” started Dimitri, “and what if—”

“Just say it,” Felix rushed him.

“What if Ingrid is the Resident Representative?”

“Oh, that’s actually a good idea,” Sylvain said immediately.

“I can’t disagree with that,” accepted Felix just a second later.

Wait,  _ what? _

“W-wait what?” Ingrid stammered.

“Hell yeah! Ingrid, come sit by Dimitri, we’re starting  _ your  _ journey on  _ our  _ island!” Sylvain even clapped, as  _ if he was excited by the idea. _

_ (Wait, was he excited by the idea?) _

“But—” Ingrid started, gaping.

“Come here,” Dimitri called her, accompanied by a hand gesture. Felix actually went to where she was standing and started to push ger towards the sofa.

“But I didn't join in buying the—”

“Who cares? Just sit down and grab the controllers,” interrupted Felix, plopping down on the floor next to were Sylvain was _even more_ sprawled.

And so, Ingrid was roped into being the representative of their Animal Crossing island just  _ because. _

  
  


\---

  
  


“Oh, but Animal Crossing is nice!” Annette said after sipping her tea.

“I know. I’ve played,” oh, Ingrid had played _ a lot _ since that day because her friends were asking her all the time to do so so  _ they _ could advance too in the game.

“Typical of them to be fighting over that, though,” Mercedes added. 

“How’s your island called?” Asked Annette.

  
“Fhirdiad. We just threw some names inside an empty tissue box and I pulled one out. I think it was Dimitri’s suggestion, but Felix didn’t look unhappy with it, so we all win,” Ingrid shrugged.

“It’s a good name,” Mercedes nodded. “So, how are they getting along, now that you act as a forced mediator?”

"A forced mediator _again_ ," Ingrid pointed out.

"Well, yeah. Again," Mercedes shrugged nonchalantly. "So?"

But Ingrid didn't get a chance to answer back.

“Sorry for the delay, I love professor Manuela but she doesn’t know what ‘only 2 hours of class’ mean,” Dorothea dropped her backpack by one of the free chairs and let herself fall on it. “What are we drinking today?”

“Sweet-apple blend,” Annette said.

“Oh, good, I like that one. Not from  _ this  _ cafeteria, though,” Dorothea puffed. “Do they—”

“No, they don’t serve vodka yet,” Mercedes interrupted.

“Damn. Had to try. Guess a coffee will work,” Dorothea stood up again and went straight to the cafeteria counter. 

They did that once a week, every Wednesday, hanging out in Dorothea’s (Scenic Arts) or Annette’s (Biology) university cafeterias. Just because they were the cheapest in the entire campus. It was Annette’s that week. Strangely, Dorothea wasn’t the last to get there that day. They were still waiting for—

“Hey, where’s Claude, Hilda and Ferdie?” Dorothea asked as she came back with a LARGE cup of black coffee.

_ (Damn, it must had been a hard day.) _

“Ferdie can’t make it, don’t you check your phone?” Mercedes asked.

“Not  _ yet _ ,” Dorothea took a BIG sip to her coffee to Ingrid’s stunned silence.

_ (Damn, it must had been a VERY hard day.) _

“Claude? Hilda?” Dorothea prompted.

“Haven’t said anything  _ yet _ ,” Annette answered.

“Well, whatever, they’ll get here,” Dorothea sighed, and then turned to Ingrid. “So, now, on a more important note—”

“No, they haven’t fucked yet,” Ingrid deadpanned.

“Damnit! Have they had a date? At least?”

“No. But they are playing Animal Crossing.”

“Oh, that’s actually cute,” Dorothea cooed.

“It is!” Annette nodded. Ingrid agreed. Kinda. Yeah, it was  _ cute _ . You could call it  _ cute _ .

See, one of the highlights of their weekly meeting was Dorothea just straight-up asking if Ingrid’s flatmates were fucking. The three of them. With each other. Because Ingrid had obviously told them about the horrible sexual tension in that flat which went pretty far away from being just a product of having three guys in their twenties living there. 

Thankfully, Ingrid wasn’t part of that sexual tension. Goddess, no.  _ No _ . But she had eyes and all of the brain cells in that flat. Not a single one left outside. The brain cells knew better than to be in any of those other three brains.

And no, one week more and they weren’t fucking. Nope.

_ “Yet!”  _ As Dorothea would say.

“SorrysorrysORRY,” they all turned their heads just to see Hilda and Claude rushing into the cafeteria. They almost ran over some teens that could only be in their first year. “SORRY,” Hilda added, as Claude looked around looking for them and ah— there they were. Their friends.

_ (friends, yeah, you could call them all a "group of friends". It was the closest definition. "Bunch of human disasters who happen to meet for coffee and complain about how bad their universitarian lives are" was too long.) _

“Good afternoon," Claude took a deep breath. Manners first, yep, "sorry we got here so late but Hilda had to go back home to grab a book for her evening class and I offered to drive her so we wouldn’t get late but then on our way back—”

“We got hit by a deer,” Hilda ended the sentence as she sat down.

The silence on the table was deafening.

“You… hit a deer?” Annette asked.

“No, no. We got hit  _ by _ a deer,” Hilda corrected her.

She... She looked serious. Far too serious. Goddess, Hilda couldn't lie for her life. _It wasn't a lie._

_(IT WASN'T A LIE?)_

“ _ How _ ?” Ingrid mouthed. Okay, Hilda lived in the middle of nowhere, yes, but—

“We stopped on a traffic light. The deer came out of the woods. Hit us right on the hood. I have pictures of the marks, wait,” Hilda reached down for her phone.

“Fear the deer,” Claude said solemnly. Annette almost busted a lung.

And sure enough, the pictures Hilda showed them of Claude’s car suggested that actually a deer had hit it. Antlers marks all over the hood. Amazing but true.

_ (The most ironic thing of it all was that probably Claude had given her a lift for nothing. Like, Hilda would probably bail out of her evening class anyway. Like she always did.) _

"Have you gotten to the _ 'have they fucked yet' _ part?" Asked Hilda putting away her phone. 

"Yep," answered Dorothea. 

"And?" 

"Nope."

"Dammit," Hilda sighed. She was pretty invested too. Ingrid couldn't grasp _why_. “Now, to the second most important thing today…”

“Oh,  _ no _ ,” now it was Dorothea’s time to sigh.

_ (More accurately, Dorothea's time to suffer.) _

“Oh,  _ yes _ ,” Claude pushed up and down his eyebrows.

You see, just as Dorothea was pretty invested in how the relationship of Ingrid flatmates developed, Hilda was pretty invested in  _ how  _ Dorothea’s relationship with her crush and flatmate developed. That crush and flatmate being a gal named Edelgard von Hresvelg, majoring in law and economics.

They were a couple of unlikely flatmates, Dorothea and Edelgard. First of all, because there was no way they would have met if they weren't sharing flat. And Dorothea could afford  _ that  _ flat because she was  _ good _ and on, like, five scholarships at the same time. And they were different. Kinda different, at least. 

For starters, Edelgard was  _ dense _ and Dorothea wasn’t. 

“No. Nothing has happened,” Dorothea ended up saying without even waiting for them to  _ ask _ .

“Yet!” Hilda added.

“Look, I’m about to  _ give up _ ,” Dorothea sighed, leaning back on her chair.

“Nooo, don’t do that!” Annette said in a childish tone with a deep pout.

Oh, but Ingrid knew Dorothea wasn’t giving up any time soon. Mostly because she said she was about to give up each and every week during those meetings. And Annette answered in _exactly_ the same way every freaking time.

“What has happened  _ this time _ ?” Claude asked, probably having in mind the same idea Ingrid had.

“She found my  _ Satisfyer. _ ”

...

Good start, that one.

“...Okay?” Mercedes invited her to continue.

_ (Oh, she loved gossip, even if she didn't look like it.) _

“She asked me if it was  _ good _ .”

“Aham,” Hilda nodded.

“And I asked her if she wanted to  _ try it _ ,” that made Ingrid almost choke on her tea.

“And…?” Asked Claude.

“She told me that sure, that I should send her a link so she could buy one herself,” aaaand there it was.

“Well,” Mercedes started, staring at something that seemed to be _very_ far away. Blinked twice. “Sexual toys shouldn’t be shared just like that. With anyone.” 

“I am aware. She is aware I am aware,” Dorothea said through her teeth.

The thing was, Dorothea knew Edelgard liked her. Oh, you just had to see her. She was bad at faking it. It was like trying to hide the death of a hamster to its owner. The owner had been Dimitri, Sylvain was trying to hide it because he didn’t want to make him sad. He had half-buried it inside one of Felix's mom flowerpots.

Dimitri appreciated the thought, but he cried for two weeks. 

“When will my eternal suffering come to an end?” Dorothea just let herself fall back, head and all, banging her head against the guy from the nearest table. Dorothea didn’t look like she cared. The other guy, though,  _ did _ .

“I don’t know. When you stop walking in circles around her?” Said Hilda.

“Just tell her,” added Annette.

“We have a bet, please, let me win this one. Take Edelgard on a date before the month ends,” mumbled Claude.

“It would be a win for every sapphic girl out there, think about it,” said Mercedes.

“Don’t be like my flatmates. Please,” was the only thing Ingrid could say.

“Wait, what bet?” Asked Dorothea, straightening up.

“Tell her!” Claude said out loud, agreeing with Ingrid and  _ completely ignoring Dorothea _ .

“Just, maybe, _after_ this month ends?” added Hilda, getting a bad look from Claude.

“But—”

“Please, Dorothea. Just try,” Annette interrupted. "Before of after the month ends. _Don't care_ ," and then gave both Hilda and Claude a pointed look.

“Well… okay.”

“No, but this time for real. You’ve been saying you’re trying for the past three months,” Ingrid said.

“Well, I’ve  _ been trying _ .”

“For real, though?” Annette squinted her eyes.

“Doesn’t look like it,” Mercedes commented before Dorothea could say anything.

“Okay, OKAY. Before you stop dragging me even more,” Dorothea sighed, rolling her eyes. “I’ll try. I’ll definitely tell her this week. Goddess, I didn't ask for this slander... ”   
  


“YES,” Claude almost jumped out of his chair, while Hilda stood straight and gave him a few pats on the shoulder.

“Don’t be so happy  _ yet _ , darling.”

Oh, well. It would be nice to hear about whatever happened during their next weekly meeting. 

In the meantime, she had not only one dumb person in love at home, like Dorothea had. Lucky her. At least she realized Edelgard liked her back. No. Ingrid had three dumbfucks at home.

Oh, she couldn’t wait to see in how many oblivious ways they would dance around each other for the next seven days. Really. She couldn’t wait. Yaay.

_ (Goddess, how many hours would go by before Ingrid got her first headache because of them?) _

But, for now? Hilda had started complaining about some guy called Lorenz Ingrid didn’t really know about, but apparently Claude and Mercedes did. And tea. Hilda complaining and tea. It was a good afternoon. Relax and forget about the three dumbfucks at home, Ingrid.

Just. Relax and forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you.
> 
> Oh, also, I plan on updating this every Sunday/Monday as the fic is mostly written already... if I don't forget about it. Something that can, admittedly, happen.
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos or comments if you're feeling generous. You can also get mad at me at my twitter (same handle as here, ImNotAMarySue) for writing this amount of bullshit and make you read it. I will 100% understand it.


	2. The Invasion of the Worms On A String

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The solution had been leaving 10 cowboy hats in front of every door of their building with no explanation whatsoever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, Here I Am Again.

“Please marry me.”

“What?”

_ ‘What?’  _ Ingrid’s heart almost went out of her mouth.

“Nothing,” clarified Felix, turning into a big tomato with blue hair. “I was just saying something that could shut you up.”

Dimitri was dumbfounded. Ingrid was dumbfounded. Sylvain wasn’t there but he would have been dumbfounded, too.

Dimitri had been ranting about some stuff from his degree. Going on and on about how much he liked this subject, and what project he was working on, something about some dude Dedue being quite helpful, and honestly, Ingrid had disconnected a while ago. She hadn’t  _ actively  _ disconnected, though. She was too focused on the book she had between her hands, and sure, she was prone to multi-task, but she was tired and she was supposed to read three more chapters for the next day.

And then Felix had said that, stopping Dimitri on his speech. 

Now, if you asked Ingrid, and you wanted her to be honest… Felix hadn’t been joking when he had told Dimitri to marry him. He hadn’t sounded like he was joking. He didn’t look like he was joking.

She knew that face.

Felix was utterly and astonishingly in love with the dumbass in front of him.

_ (Oh, wow. What a surprise, right? Like Ingrid hadn’t been known that for almost two years. Same went for Sylvain. And for Dimitri himself.) _

“Shut up! Damn,” Dimitri shoved him away more jokingly than not, but he was clearly blushing. And also a little bit angry. Was angry-blushing a thing? Now it was. “If I was annoying you so much you could have told me to just shut up.”

“That doesn’t usually work. So I reached to desperate measures,” said Felix. You know, like a liar.

“Well, for your information, I wouldn’t marry you,” Dimitri scoffed.

You know,  _ like a liar _ .

“Good to know,” Felix scoffed back.

“Good,” Dimitri said.

“Good,” Felix said.

_ ‘This is physically painful to watch,’  _ Ingrid thought.

“By the way, Ingrid,” Dimitri started. “Have you set up a new plot of land?”

“I _what now_?”

“Animal Crossing,” Felix said into the collar of his shirt.

“Oh,” Ingrid almost forgot about the game sometimes. But they had been going after her for an entire week to do this or do that, so it was nearly impossible to completely forget about it. “Yes, there should be one by the east waterfall.”

“Cool. It’s my turn to bring a neighbor. Hopefully I’ll get Leopold… or any lion, really,” Dimitri stood up and reached for the Switch.

“Leopold? Are you serious?” Felix huffed.

“Is something wrong with Leopold?” Dimitri asked distractedly as he fell back on the couch.

“I thought you would try to get Pietro. Because you are a clow—”

“ _I’LL HAVE TO_ stop you right there, Felix,” Ingrid raised her voice so Felix wouldn’t finish that sentence. He couldn’t finish that sentence. Even if there was just a sound left to pronounce.

Still, Felix shifted his gaze towards her, upset. Dimitri had just opted to ignore it all. Or maybe he hadn’t been paying attention to Felix’s obvious provocation.

_ (Calling him a clown, what was that about? Ingrid knew who Pietro was. Mostly because Felix had shown him to her. Because Felix liked Pietro, actually. Which was… weird. But that was the hard cold truth. _

_ Still. Ingrid couldn’t start guessing how Felix’s brain worked. At all. Calling his crush a clown? What the hell? What kind of panicked gay was that?) _

Anyway, Felix’s stare didn’t last a lot, mostly because just then the intercom ringed.

There was a silence. Then it was broken because of the soft music coming from the switch in Dimitri’s hands. Ingrid stared down at her book.

“I’ll… go get it,” Felix stood up slowly and walked towards the front door.

It was a not-spoken rule of their apartment, actually. Felix was scary. Or, well, was good at being scary. Dimitri was good at being scary, too. But only if the person who called was really annoying, like a Seiros’ Witness. Like, yeah, Dimitri was quite religious himself, but not  _ that kind of religious. _

No. Felix could scare off even the pizza delivery guy. He had scared him once. Twice. Actually five times. After that, Sylvain had begun to open the door but only if it was said pizza delivery guy. Their regular delivery guy, Ignatz, had looked  _ infinitely _ grateful for that.

So, if it wasn’t poor Ignatz with a pizza, and Felix was home, Felix was most definitely in charge of answering the intercom and/or opening the door. 

_ (Damn, he was the smaller of them three by height and yet he was the only one who gave the “stab first, ask later” vibes.) _

“Third floor,” Felix said before hanging up the intercom. Then he turned around. Looked at his two currently present flatmates. “Have any of you asked for something recently?”

“No.”

“Just on Animal Crossing.”

“Okay. Then it must really be for Sylvain,“ Felix took a very deep breath. “Again.”

“Ugh. Again?”

“Didn’t he say he wasn’t ordering anything else for at least three months?”

“Yeah. He indeed said that after…  _ that. _ ” 

Ingrid had last found one of the tiny cowboy hats inside of their dishwasher. For the second time.

Around one month before, a package for Sylvain had arrived. It had ended up being a big box full of tiny cowboy hats. One thousand cowboy hats, to be correct.

_ “I only wanted like, ten,”  _ had promised Sylvain.  _ “My finger probably slipped.” _

_ “Don’t you say,”  _ Ingrid deadpanned just as Sylvain was placing the fifteenth cowboy hat on top of Dimitri’s head, one on top of the other.

Surprisingly, Dimitri hadn’t seemed to mind. Or, well, not so surprisingly if you asked Ingrid. After all, Dimitri had the biggest heart eyes at that exact moment.

_ (The solution had been leaving 10 cowboy hats in front of every door of their building with no explanation whatsoever. Because the store wouldn’t take them back, obviously. _

_ Then they had started gifting them to dog owners at different parks. Then they had tried to gift 10 to every person that knocked their door. They had ended up bringing small batches to their respective university classes and had ended up leaving them on top of the benches before the people got to class. _

_ If Ingrid was not mistaken, there were only five hundred tiny cowboy hats left in that box. Which were still too many. _

_ Why did he want ten tiny cowboy hats in the beginning? That question was yet to be answered.) _

After the cowboy hats incident, they had made Sylvain promise he wouldn’t order anything without telling them. Ever again. For the sake of their collective sanity. And the sanity of their neighbors, who definitely knew they were responsible for the tiny cowboy hats that kept appearing all over the building.

“Okay,” Felix sighed after closing their front door, a big box in his hands. “This is bigger than the cowboy hats, but…”

“But?” Asked Ingrid, dread already taking over her.

“It doesn’t really weight,” Felix made his way to the couch and dropped the box.

Dimitri paused the game. Ingrid finally closed her book. Felix just stood there.

Silence.

“...Should we open it?” Dimitri was the first one to talk.

“Yep.”

“I feel bad about it,” Felix was already opening it when Ingrid said those words. He stopped in his tracks. “...But I don’t want another tiny cowboy hat incident.”

And as soon as she said it, Felix forcefully opened the flaps of the box.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Okay,” Ingrid’s voice trembled. “I was expecting a lot of things, but—”

“Oh, so are you surprised?” Felix asked. “Because I’m not. Are you surprised, Dimitri?”

_ (Wow, that had been the first time Felix had called Dimitri by his name in a long while. Ingrid had to make note on her calendar about it.) _

“I’m not.”

“I’m not surprised. I mean, knowing Sylvain…” Ingrid trailed off and didn’t finish the sentence.

It wasn’t the most usual thing to receive a big box full to the bring of multi-colored, brilliant, fluorescent and even pastel-colored worms on a string. 

But it was addressed to Sylvain. So, really. She couldn’t be surprised.

"Do you think his finger has  _ slipped  _ again?" Dimitri asked. 

"I mean, _it's Sylvain_ ," Felix answered. 

"Felix, dear, that sentence can be interpreted both ways," Ingrid deadpanned. Her eyes were still glued to the box. "Like,  _ 'it's Sylvain of course his finger slipped'  _ or  _ 'hey, it's Sylvain, of course he ordered a box full of worms on a string'.  _ Right?" 

"You're not wrong," Dimitri said. 

"She isn't wrong indeed," Felix conceded. Damn, had that just been… them agreeing? 

Ingrid really had to write it down on her calendar. 

"What… what do we do?" Asked Dimitri. 

"What do you mean? What do you want to do with a bunch of fucking worms-on-a-string?" 

"I mean, Felix," Dimitri started again. "Do we… seal the box again? Do we just leave it open? Do we tell something to Sylvain?" 

"Yes," said Felix. 

"Yes to what?" Asked Ingrid. 

"Yes," Felix repeated. 

So, as they couldn't figure out what to do with the box, they left it on top of the couch, sitting between Felix and Dimitri. Just as if it had been Sylvain. 

_ (If Sylvain had ended up being one thousand worms on a string inside a human body Ingrid wouldn't have been surprised.) _

And they three did their best to ignore it for the time being. Ingrid just went back to her book. Dimitri went back to Animal Crossing. Felix went back to complaining about Dimitri not having taste in neighbors. 

And finally, half an hour later, the front door opened. 

Sylvain was home. 

"Hey, guys. What a day, huh? I mean, it's so hot outside. Well, I'm hotter but—" Sylvain stopped in the middle of one of his classic (very classic) jokes when he saw the open box sitting on the couch. 

The three of them, Ingrid, Dimitri and Felix stopped at the same time what they were doing to look at Sylvain. Intensely. Judiciously. 

And Sylvain just stood there, looking at the box with an indecipherable expression. 

"Oh, boy. That was quick!" He finally said, a smile breaking on his face.

"Sylvain," Ingrid started, "what did we tell you?" 

"Oh, but I need these!" 

"Let me  _ doubt  _ that," Felix said. 

"That many?" Dimitri asked almost at the same time.

"Yep," Sylvain picked up the box. 

"There's no mistake?" Ingrid asked. 

"Yep!" Sylvain turned around and started walking towards his room. 

"Are you sure?!" Felix asked. 

"Yep!!!" he answered after disappearing into the hallway. 

And then, a door opened and closed. 

"...Do we really want to know?" Dimitri asked out loud. 

And that time, no one answered. 

  
  


\---

  
  


"So?" Ferdinand tried to prompt Ingrid to keep talking, "do you know why did he want that many worms on a string?" 

"Oh, yes. We figured it out quite fast," Ingrid let out a tired sigh. 

A  _ very  _ tired sigh. 

Everyone in that table was looking at her expectantly, spoons and cups of tea suspended in mid-air. 

"I already mentioned the tiny cowboy hats incident, right?" Everyone nodded. They had laughed their asses off when Ingrid told them back in the day, and then they had taken back home one tiny cowboy hat each. "Apparently, and as far as Dimitri, Felix and me know, he asked for those worms on a string so he could give each of them a hat. Now there aren't just hats lying around the apartment. Now there are worms on a string wearing tiny cowboy hats lying ALL around the building."

The murmuring and the occasional laugh of the cafeteria was the only thing they heard for about five seconds.

"I mean," Claude started. "I don't know why I wasn't expecting it. But still, I'm not surprised. At all." 

"That Sylvain is—" Annette started. 

"He's a genius. He's a freaking genius," Claude completed. Annette gave him a bad look. Yeah, clearly that wasn't what Annette was going to say. 

Anyways, Hilda hit him in the back of his head. 

"I've never seen a worm on a string," Mercedes commented. 

"You HAVEN'T?" 

"No, Claude, I haven't," Mercedes recognized. "I'm quite curious. I'll just google it—" 

"NO DON'T DO THAT," Claude almost jumped out of his chair, scaring everyone present. 

_ (Which, for once, was their whole group of friends.) _

"...Why shouldn't she do that?" Ferdie asked. 

"I was about to ask the same thing," Annette said. 

"Oh. Well," Claude cleared his throat. "I just thought it would be nice if Ingrid could bring some of Sylvain's worms on a string with tiny cowboy hats next week. One for each of us." 

"Wait—" Ingrid didn't finish the sentence because, well. If Claude wanted worms on a string with tiny cowboy hats it meant they had (at least) one less worm on a string with tiny cowboy hat lying around their apartment. 

Sharing is caring. Specifically, caring for poor Ingrid, who was currently living with two many worms on a string and was about to finally go crazy. 

_ (Took her long enough, considering her flatmates.)  _

"I don't want one," Hilda announced. Annette and Ferdinand mumbled stuff that sounded quite similar. 

"Oh, I want one," Mercedes said cheerfully. "It sounds interesting. And fun. And you, Dorothea? Do you want one? You're awfully quiet today." 

And Mercedes was right. Dorothea hadn’t opened her mouth that day, not since she had arrived. A little bit strange, because she was one of the ones that never stopped talking if you got her started. She hadn’t even been the one to ask about how Sylvain, Dimitri and Felix were doing. It had been Hilda.  _ For once _ .

And yes, they were doing as “fine” as always, to Ingrid’s disgrace.

“That’s true, what’s going on, Thea?” Hilda leaned forward, head resting on her hands. “Something happened with Edelgard?”

“No.”

“No?” Annette echoed.

“No. Nothing happened. Nope,” Dorothea insisted.

“So, something  _ definitely _ happened,” Hilda concluded. “Weren’t you going to finally tell her?”

“Tell her what?” Dorothea asked, looking at the ceiling.

Damn, she was  _ bad _ at making herself look innocent, at least if her love life was involved, Ingrid thought.

“That you like her a lot, and that you want to smooch her—” Claude started.

“—And want to eat her—”

“I told her! I told her!” Dorothea cut Hilda short. “Okay? Yeah, I told her.”

Everyone expected Dorothea to keep talking, but she remained quiet. Looking at the ceiling.

_ (To be fair, there was a stain there. A stain that wasn’t the last time Ingrid checked. The Scenic Arts cafeteria was a wild place. _

_ Huh. It kinda looked like chocolate.) _

"And…?" Hilda tried to prompt her. 

"I told her, 'hey, Eddie, you know? I like you a lot'. And then she said, not even missing a beat 'oh, yeah, I like you too, would you pass me the salt?'" 

"And…?!" Claude said. 

"And that's it." 

"That's it?" 

"Yep," Dorothea marked the 'p' sound at the end. 

"I think you need to be more direct," Mercedes said. 

"You could have kissed her," suggested Ferdinand. 

"I just— I went blank, okay?" Dorothea sighed, finally straightening up. "It's like, sure. I told her I like her. Then she tells me that she likes me too, and then asks me to pass her the salt. Like it's nothing."

"I don't think she understood you meant like- _ like _ ," Ingrid pointed out. 

"Oh,  _ you don't say _ ," and with that, Dorothea buried her face on her hands. Her voice came out muffled, "she isn't even… behaving differently around me. So, yes, pretty much. She didn't get the fact that I  _ like _ her." 

"And why haven't you tried again since then?" Asked Claude. 

"Because I told her this morning during breakfast," Dorothea deadpanned. 

Damn, queen of doing everything at the last minute. 

"And with just that you can already tell she's not behaving differently?" Asked Ferdinand. 

"Trust me. I can tell."

"How?" Claude insisted. Damn, he was raking his hair like crazy. 

_ (He really didn't want to lose that bet against Hilda, probably.) _

"I just know!" Dorothea buried her face  _ even more _ , almost knocking down her cup of tea with her elbow (thankfully Annette was there to save the day).

"But will you keep trying?" Hilda asked, twisting strands of hair between her fingers. 

_ (Yeah, she didn't wanna lose either.) _

"Yeah," their friend answered after a few seconds. "Yeah, I guess I will." 

_ "Damn,"  _ Hilda mouthed just as Claude made a victory gesture. 

Those two were something else. 

"Anyway, updates on the three idiots," Dorothea pushed herself up a little. Her make-up was still flawless. Amazing. "Now."

"They are still idiots," Ingrid answered plainly. 

"This time with worms on a string, though," added Mercedes. 

Dorothea blinked once. Then again. 

"I was dissociating earlier and I _definitely_ and _somehow_ missed that part of the conversation. Do I wanna know?" 

"No," said Ingrid. 

"Yes," said everyone else. 

Aaand that was how the topic went back to Ingrid. Amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cowboy hats incident happened to an artist on twitter. I don't remember who, but it happened easily a year ago. Now, I asked myself, what would do Sylvain if he accidentally ordered 1000 small cowboy hats? And this came out. No, I don't know why the fuck I asked myself that question. I don't know how my brain works.
> 
> The last chapter is still not finished because I've been packing orders from my etsy shop this week (got charms from my supplier and had to send preorders) in which btw I have some Fire Emblem Three Houses stickers. You can take a look if you want, the link is in my twitter (@ImNotAMarySue).
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos or comments if you're feeling generous. You can also get mad at me at my twitter (same handle as here, ImNotAMarySue) for writing this amount of bullshit and make you read it. I will 100% understand it.


	3. The Glasses' Cease-Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How many, you big-ass mole?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A patch would have been too much in a modern setting.

"How many?" had asked Felix, voice serious. 

"I mean, it's not that—" 

"How many, you big-ass mole?" had asked Sylvain, who couldn't contain his laugh. 

"I— -9 in the left eye, -0.5 in the right one," Dimitri had admitted, defeated. 

The reaction had been immediate. Laughs, jokes about Dimitri being half-blind, pointing fingers, more jokes, Ingrid telling Sylvain off… 

Then, a few days passed. And Dimitri had arrived home with his brand new glasses. 

Both Felix and Sylvain had gone mute. 

"I need to talk," Sylvain said as he grabbed Ingrid by her arm and had dragged her to his room, not even letting her decline his petition. Which wasn't really a petition, but… yeah.

"What's wrong, Sylvain?" Ingrid sighed, feeling defeated. She was sitting on Sylvain's bed, as Sylvain paced in circles around his room. 

_ (He kicked the boxes with the still numerous remnants of worms and cowboy hats a couple of times, not seeming to care. Poor yeehaw worms on a string.) _

"I—" he started, but seemed to rethink his words, and so he started again. "So—" again, Sylvain cut himself. And this time he didn't continue. 

That went on for about one whole minute until Ingrid stood up, grabbed him by the shoulders and made him  _ sit down _ next to her. 

"So?" She tried to prompt him. Ingrid didn't have all the time in the world, precisely. Not with her exams, and her job, and _trying to sleep 8 hours straight for once and failing every time._

"He's…" but Ingrid didn't hear was Sylvain was saying. 

So, she turned towards him, grabbed his face and forced him to look at her instead of at the collar of his t-shirt. 

" _ So _ ?" Ingrid repeated once again. 

_ (Gosh, Sylvain's face—)  _

"He's…" 

_ (It was hot. And in the process of turning bright red.)  _

"Cute…"

"What."

"He's cute!" Sylvain repeated out loud, looking kind of freaked out just after. Maybe that had been too loud. Or louder than he had intended. 

"Who?" Ingrid asked because really. Could be  _ anyone _ , right? 

_ (She liked to see Sylvain suffer. Just a little bit.) _

"D—"

"Dee? Duck? The unstoppable force of love?"

"Dimitri," Sylvain finally blurted out.

And then, the babbling started. 

"Dimitri is cute. Well, more like _sexy. So fucking hot_. Like, I didn't really think those glasses would make such a _difference_ but I just wanna kiss him and— and take his clothes off and then s—" 

"Woah, woah, slow down. Please. I don't need the images." 

"—with those glasses on. Sorry," Sylvain raked back his hair once again. "Sorry. _Oh, hell,_ sorry."

"It's okay. It's… okay," Ingrid breathed deeply. The images were already there, though. _Ugh_ , yeah, they _were there_. "And, you wanted to tell me this because…?" 

"I… I don't know. I kinda just wanted to get it out of my chest, you know? See if that worked. If that helped with the... situation."

_ (Well, thank you, but there were some things Ingrid preferred to not be imagining right then.)  _

"And…?" 

"And?" 

"Has it helped?" Damn, Ingrid felt as if she was pulling everything out from him with a corkscrew. 

Sylvain gulped down. 

"I… don't think so."

Well. Ingrid wasn't expecting a different answer. 

"But… at least it is out?" 

"Yep." 

"At least it is out, then," Ingrid sighed. "Do you need something el—" 

"It's just—" Sylvain interrupted her. "I mean. I had never thought about the possibility of Dimitri wearing glasses. He's already hot without them. And now—" 

"You really can skip the details," the blonde one deadpanned. 

"—He's super hot, like, _so SUPER HOT_? It's incredible. I didn't think he could beat himself, but life is a box full of surprises, I guess—"

"Sylvain—"

"—And the thing is, I really wanna smooch him. A lot!" Sylvain sighed and let himself fall back into his bed, covering his face. "What can I do…?"

"I recommend the smooching part as a good starter. Also, finally telling him that you are not straight might—" Ingrid was saying when Sylvain returned to his previous position, as if pulled by a spring. 

"What? No! I can't do that! Dimitri doesn't like me. Not like _that._ "

_ (Boy, if you also had glasses… because he certainly needed them.)  _

"Oooh, right. I had almost forgotten," Ingrid hit her head with her palm. "Stupid Ingrid! Dimitri doesn't like Sylvain that way!" 

She tried to sound as sarcastic as she could...

"Exactly," conceded Sylvain. 

…And it obviously didn't work. 

"Oh my goddess," Sylvain suddenly took his hands to his head, pulling his hair a little. Drama, too much drama. "What if I never get to smooch Dimitri?" 

… 

No words. Ingrid had no words. 

"OH MY GODDESS, WHAT IF I NEVER GET TO SMOOCH DIMITRI NOR FELIX? OR WHAT IF I CAN ONLY SMOOCH _ONE_ OF THEM?"

“Sylvain, poly relationships exist,” Ingrid said calmly, but it was useless. Completely useless.

“BUT I WANT TO SMOOCH THEM BOTH! I REALLY WANT TO. WHY IS LIFE SO _UNFAIR_? ALSO THEY SURELY DON’T LIKE ME BACK—”

It was a time as good as any to just disconnect, really. Ingrid had been witness to too many of Sylvain's mental breakdowns over his two crushes. He wasn’t going to listen to her. She knew that. 

_ (To know that the solution to his problem was precisely to smooch his two crushes…) _

At some point Sylvain stopped whining. Ingrid had gotten up and had gone to her room. Yeah. She needed a break.

Although she  _ didn’t  _ get to her room.

When she was just passing in front of Felix’s room, the door opened and a pale hand came from the inside, grabbing her arm.

_ (Ah, shit. Here we go again _ . _ ) _

“Ingrid… Ingrid…” whined Felix, still inside his room.

“What do you want, Felix Hugo Fraldarius?” Ingrid sighed. But she knew what he wanted. Oh, she definitely _knew._

“Shut up. Come in. Talk,” he said in a quiet tone. Another sigh on Ingrid’s end. 

Tiredly, she turned around and got into Felix’s room. Which wasn’t on full-on dark mode, but close. The blinds were almost completely down. Felix had lighted a scented candle (soft blanket) and looking by the state of his bed he had probably just come out of a blanket burrito.

_ (Coming out of the closet was too mainstream, apparently.) _

“Ooookay, what’s going on now?” Ingrid asked. Just for the sake of courtesy.

Felix took a deep breath. He uttered a single word.

“He.”

“Okay, there are two ‘he’s around, I hope you know that…”

“He!!!” Felix threw himself again into his bed and made himself a human burrito in front of Ingrid’s eyes.

_(Ah, yes. Look at him.)_

“Okay. I’m going to say their names, and if you are referring to any of them you can say ‘he’, got it?”

“He…”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Ingrid took Felix’s desk chair and sat there. Something told her she was going to be there for a while. “Sylvain Jose Gautier.”

“He,” Felix uttered, to Ingrid’s surprise.

“...Okay, then what about Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd?”

“He!”

“Okay. Felix, you know this game doesn’t work this way. You  _ know it _ .”

“It’s just…” Oh, wow, a miracle! Felix was talking! With actual sentences! “I like them. A lot. Both of them. But Dimitri… those glasses… He looks  _ SO GOOD  _ with them…”

_ (Sylvain and Felix both shared a brain cell, we had been knew. Ingrid had been knew, heck.) _

“Does he really,” Ingrid deadpanned more than asked.

“Ingrid, I really had  _ faith  _ in you. Like, are you blind? Do you need glasses too?” Felix stuck out his head from between the blankets and plushies (that he would never admit having in front of any person who wasn’t one of his flatmates. He was that dumb sometimes).

“I guess he looks pretty in them,” Ingrid tried to sound casual about it. “But Dimitri has never been my type. You know. Not a girl. So. Well, yeah. That’s it, really.”

“You still might wanna make an appointment at the ophthalmologist.”

“ _ Felix _ .”

“Okay, okay,” he grunted, and then he hid himself once again under the bundle of blankets. “But that’s it. There. I said it. Dimiri looks  _ fucking good _ on those glasses.”

“And have you thought about, I don’t know, telling him just that?”

“What? Are you insane? What would I do that?” just as Sylvain had done just a couple of minutes before, Felix sat up suddenly and looked at Ingrid, his face showing outrage mixed with embarrassment (if Ingrid had to judge by the color of Felix’s cheeks).

"Because you like him?" 

"Fuck yeah I do. I have bad taste and I know it. But like,  _ why would I do that? _ "

" _ Because you like him, _ " Ingrid repeated, using the same tone Felix had just used. 

There was a silence. Ingrid sitting in Felix chair, Felix sitting on his own bed. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Open. Close. 

"But I like Sylvain too."

"I don't see the problem here. I mean, look, poly—" 

"You don't see the problem? You  _ don't _ ?" Felix huffed. "It is a problem indeed. Anyway, thanks for letting me put myself in evidence for a few minutes. Need to do that once in a while."

Aaand that was Ingrid's cue to leave. 

_ (Again without fixing anything. Not like she could do anything when the boys didn't collaborate.) _

"Anytime," she sighed, and was soon closing Felix's door behind her. 

Now, what was she doing before being interrupted by Felix? Ah, yes. She felt like isolating herself in her room for a while could be a great idea. 

She only spent five minutes looking at the ceiling, laying on her bed, before someone knocked at the door. 

_ (This was just a recurring comedic gag in her life, wasn't it?)  _

"Come in, Dimitri," Ingrid groaned, pushing a pillow against her face. It was obviously Dimitri. He was the only one who always remembered to knock at her door. 

"Hey, Ingrid, can we— oh, are you okay? Is this a bad time?" Dimitri stopped himself, the door still ajar, most probably. Not like Ingrid was paying attention to it. 

"Nah, no worries. Close the door and sit," Ingrid removed the pillow and threw it away. It landed somewhere around her desk. "What do you need?" 

"It's just…" Ingrid heard the door being closed, and then the small familiar creak of her chair as Dimitri sat. "It's just a dumb question, really. Can you look at me for a second?" 

Without much interest, Ingrid turned her head towards Dimitri and looked at him. There he was, all tall, blonde, hair a mess (but a sexy updo mess, honestly), gentle blue eyes looking directly at her through the dark rimmed glasses. 

"Do I… look bad?" He asked, voice small. 

" _ What? _ " 

_ (What?) _

"I know, dumb question, it's just—" Dimitri sighed. "I thought the glasses suited me quite well. Or, well, I hoped. But Felix and Sylvain have been giving me odd looks. And I know… I know I'm not bad looking. I hope. Hell, I hope. But maybe the glasses look dumb? Should I just stick to contacts? I'm kinda afraid of sticking anything in my eyes, though..." 

_ (Oh, for fuck's sake.) _

"Dude," that was the first word Ingrid was able to articulate. "First of all, I didn't take you as someone who worried about his looks—" 

"I'm not! I'm not. It's just… Felix and Sylvain…"

"—But, I mean, even if you were, that would be 100% fine. Worry about the aesthetics all you feel like, my friend. Second of all—" Ingrid cut herself, and then sat on the bed. "You look  _ fucking _ good on those glasses."

"Oh. Oh, wow. Alright, okay," Dimitri immediately avoided Ingrid's eyes, turning slightly red. "It must be good, considering you almost never curse—" 

"And everyone can see that you look good. Really. It's not a matter of personal taste. You know _you're not my type_ , for starters," she scratched her head. 

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. If Felix and Sylvain are looking funny at you it must be because of…  _ something else, _ " Ingrid had to stop herself there. She didn't want to open her mouth too big. 

"Something else? Like what?" 

"Oh, who knows?" Ingrid played dumb. "You should ask them yourself."

"What? No!" Dimitri ducked down his head immediately, hunched down too. 

_ (The three of them were the same. They were the fucking SAME.) _

"Oh, why not? Avoiding conflict is never the best course of action. If they have a problem with you or something you should just talk about it and take it out of the way."

_ (Or course, that wasn't going to happen. The conflict. There was no conflict. The conflict lied in the fact that they refused to smooch each other despite clearly wanting to do so.) _

"...I mean, you're right, Ingrid. I know you are. But it's—"

"Scary, we've been knew. But hey, we've all been friends for as long as I remember. Some glasses are not gonna undo all these years, right? Like, as if anyone could get mad about another person needing to wear glasses," Ingrid chuckled. Yep, that sounded absurd. Dimitri worried too much. "Just ask if something's wrong, it is impossible for a fight to came out of that." 

"I—" Dimitri seemed to think for a couple of seconds. Someone who wasn't Ingrid? Thinking? In that apartment? "I will… I will do that. Yes, I will. Even if it's not about the glasses in the end, even if I did something bad to them without realizing... You're right. I cannot avoid conflict.Thank you for your… input, Ingrid." 

"Anytime," the blonde girl sighed. For once, that 'anytime' had been 100% honest. 

And with luck, that would be the last time Ingrid had to take the role of a psychologist with her flatmates. 

_ (Just… Fuck, Dimitri, please don't screw this. Please) _

\---

"Hilda is not coming today," Claude announced as he sat down.

That wasn't exactly new. Hilda missed their meet-ups every now and then. As everyone did, just… maybe she did so a little bit more frequently. But she had been coming for a month and a half straight.

The new thing was the  _ unusual  _ smile on Claude's lips. Okay, yeah, he smiled a lot, that too. But Ingrid and the rest knew better. 75% of the time Claude's smile was very much fake. It was difficult to know what really went through his mind. 

But oh, that smile was the real thing. And also, he seemed quite  _ bubbly _ . As if he was feeling especially delighted by Hilda not coming that day.

"Spit it out, Claude," Annette gave the table a slap, the smile already growing on her face. 

"What? I don't know what you're talking about," he wasn't even trying to hide something, for once. His excitement was  _ so obvious _ . 

_ (Damn, it had to be something good for Claude to be behaving like that.) _

"Dude, remember who you're talking to," Ingrid pointed out with a snort. 

"Also, you're practically bouncing on your chair," Ferdinand added. 

"And I've faked enough smiles in my life to know that's a real one," Dorothea leaned forward, towards where their friend sat ( _ bouncing _ , as Ferdie had said). 

"The tea is delicious today," commented Mercedes with a small hum. 

_ (...That could be interpreted in an… interesting way.) _

"Oh, well. I guess I'll have to say it," now, that was a fake sigh. 

But he didn't tell  _ immediately.  _ First he looked at each of his friends for an undetermined quantity of seconds, his smile growing bigger little by little as he jumped from one person to the next. 

And then, he announced with a nervous laugh. 

"I have a boyfriend!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told my friend Dorian (@artystargazer) "okay imagine Dimitri with glasses" and I think I broke them. So yeah, there's that.
> 
> It's funny, because I still have to finish the *fucking last chapter*, but I don't feel inspired at all. Luckily I'll have it by next Sunday. If not, well... it can't take THAT long...
> 
> Oh, also! I opened keychain commissions on twitter until the 1st of September. So, a little bit of self-spam here (because if I don't promote myself, then who will?) Here's the link to my commissions! ([Here's the link to my commissions!](https://twitter.com/ImNotAMarySue/status/1291447171389313024)) Even an RT helps me a lot. And if you want one but don't have a twitter account, you can send me an e-mail to notanothermarysue@gmail.com.
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos or comments if you're feeling generous. You can also get mad at me at my twitter (same handle as here, ImNotAMarySue) for writing this amount of bullshit and make you read it. I will 100% understand it.


End file.
